Why Cloud went mad!
by TheShinonbiyoru
Summary: Yes it's back!Ever wonder why Cloud went mad in the interlude when he was chasing Sephiroth?Well here's OUR version!Me and my friend El wrote this like AGES ago-still funny as hell though!R


Hi looky @ dis:  
  
***WARNING:We(Me and El)Own the characters:Katania(K.E.M.1)And Virgo SO GEROFF!!!Soz,We dont own da rest of the characters,so DONT SUE!!!Neway u cant sue me!(Pulls pockets out,moths fly out of em)No money!Oh well enjoy...***NC-17 (Swearin and stuff in it BAAAD)  
  
*=Telepathic conversations by Virgo  
  
**=Telepathic conversations by Katania  
  
Why Cloud went mad.....(hehehe)  
  
Sepiroth looks down from the mountain,'I must have the Black materia'(2 Cloaked figures approach,1 holding a staff)  
  
*Sir*  
  
**Sir**  
  
Virgo:Dont copy meee!(Whines)  
  
**Wateva!**  
  
Sepiroth:I COULD HERE YOUR BICKERING A MILE AWAY!!!  
  
**Sheesh!**  
  
*Shut up!*  
  
Sepiroth:WHO ME?!  
  
*No...sorry sir..i..i meant Kat sir..*(Trembles)  
  
**hahahaha!**(Smirks)  
  
Sepiroth:(Smacks head with hand)Y IS MY BRILLIANCE ALWAYS SURROUNDED BY INCOMPETENT MORONS!!!  
  
Kat:(Looks behind her,shes a bit slow)Who sir?  
  
Virgo:U U DUMMY!  
  
Kat:Well I NEVER!!!U WANNA START!!!  
  
Virgo:Wat if i do?!  
  
Sepiroth:(Gettin pissed now)LISTEN U 2!!!  
  
Kat:well if u wanna start-(Gets cut off by a lightning bolt fired between her and Virgo)WAH!  
  
Virgo:That nearly wrecked ma nice new shiny shoes!!!(Remembers who she's talkin 2)Sorry sir(Bows)  
  
Sepiroth:Good...Now that I have your attention....WHEREZ MA MATERIA!!!  
  
(Both Girls flinch)  
  
**Should u tell him or should i???**(Looks nervous)  
  
*U!!!*  
  
**NO BLOODY WAY!**  
  
*(Sighs)Fine...*  
  
Virgo:Ugh....well....u see...  
  
Sepiroth:SPIT IT OUT GIRL!!!  
  
Virgo:Wecouldntfindtheblackmateria!  
  
Kat:...therewasthisbigdragonthingy...anditwasgonnaeatus!  
  
*Mentally takes a breathe*  
  
**does the same**  
  
Sepiroth:(About 2 strike them...)What is that?(Gestures 2 the staff)  
  
Virgo:(Clutches staff closer)Ma walking stick cos ma new shoes hurt,y?  
  
Sepiroth:Its a homing device U MORON!  
  
**Now whos the moron!**  
  
*shut it!*  
  
Virgo:A homing device eh?(Looks @ it)Wheres the pretty lights???(Shakes it)WORK U STUPID THING!!!  
  
Sepiroth:Give me that(Snatches it off her)  
  
*Coulda asked!*  
  
**Hmph the lord dont need 2 ask!**  
  
*Was I talkin 2 u?Dolt!*  
  
**U r now!**(Laughs childishly,and makes a 1 'point' sign in the air)  
  
Virgo:(Kicks her companions foot...Encounters metal)OUCH!Wat the bloody hell u got on Kat?  
  
**Protective armour**(Grins)  
  
Sepiroth:(Hands the staff back 2 Virgo)Use this 2 find the Materia,I have channeled its inner energies so it can find the Black Materia specifically(With a wave of his hand)Now be gone!AND DONT COME BACK TILL U HAVE THE MATERIA!!!  
  
*Yessir*  
  
**Okey dokey(Blushes as Virgo gives her a strange look)U said not 2 copy u!**  
  
*Fine..lets go*  
  
(They dissapear into the fog,thats seemingly just appeared outta nowhere!?)  
  
***************************************************************************  
  
(We now C Cloud,Tifa and Aeris talking around a camp fire,Barett is god knows where...)  
  
Cloud: Now where did you say this Temple o the Ancients thingy majigy was?  
  
Aeris: (lookin at map) I dunno...I said we should go there i never said i knew where it was!  
  
Tifa: Cant we ask for directions? I think were lost.  
  
Cloud: I'd ruin my warriors pride....anyway who were u intendin to ask? The crow? OH HELLO MR CROW...DO U KNOW THE WAY TO THE TEMPLE O THE ANCIENTS...No thought not!  
  
**What is this guy on? and it's Mrs Crow!**  
  
*I want some!*  
  
Cloud: Did anyone hear something? (lookin paranoid)  
  
Tifa: Yeah o course Cloud the crow just replied to u didnt it?(Does swirly sign at head to Aeris- signifying crazy)  
  
**Shit i think he heard us!**  
  
*How can he*  
  
**Well he doesnt look too sane to me!**  
  
*Betta get outta here then*  
  
Cloud: U sure u didnt hear anything?  
  
Tifa & Aeris: YES!!  
  
Cloud: Ok, i must have water in my ears or summin' (Tips head to side and hits ear....listens for a while..) OK that's better...  
  
Barrett returns with a black object in his hands  
  
Barrett: Look I found a crow for dinner..  
  
(Cloud turns green)  
  
Barrett: Well I'm sorry if it's not cuisine but you try findin summat here... (cries into pink apron, Tifa comforts him)  
  
Tifa: It's alright, he's havin a stressful time hearin voices and all that...  
  
Barrett: I just wanted him to like me just a little...I've tried everythin...givin him a rose...and he said he'd shove it up somewhere thorns an all if i carried on....  
  
Tifa: He didnt mean it..he's just i little tense...  
  
Cloud: (butts in) I BLOODY DID MEAN IT! (Shudders at thought of Barrett in pink tutu)  
  
Barrett: See this is the type of closed minded racism i haveto deal with..(cries into apron again)  
  
Cloud: RACISM...ur GAY...I have no problem with gays so long as you keep it away from me..and ur not! GO AWAY!  
  
Barrett cries again  
  
Tifa:(To Cloud) Ur so self obsessed! U should b nice for once!  
  
Cloud: I'm bein as nice as i can! (Whines)  
  
******Disruption as Yuffie Enters****  
  
Yuffie: Hey guys..i found out where the Ancient Templey thingy is....guys? (looks at scene before her) TIFA! I'm sure bitin Cloud on the leg isn't nice!  
  
**************************************************************************** *********************  
  
Sepiroth:Ah..peace(He's on Stressedout 1,for teenagers,a chat room)Oooh,yes I'll talk 2 u debbie(Replies 2 a message)Um..Im 15(ish)tall,male(I shouldnt mention recently deceased should i?)  
  
Just then a flicker comes onto the screen,The screen goes black  
  
Sepiroth:Bloody AOL!!!(Or AO-HELL as we like 2 call it,soz!lol)  
  
2 Figures appear on the screen,1 a red haired girl with Yellow skin(Virgo),the other a green haired girl with pale blue skin(Kat)  
  
Kat:WHASSUP?!  
  
Sepiroth:Oh no u 2!(Sighs)What of my materia?!  
  
Virgo:Um...well its safe  
  
Sepiroth:I take it u have it then?  
  
Virgo:By safe I mean...we dont know where it is yet.....xactly...but-  
  
Sepiroth:I DONT CARE FIND IT!!!  
  
Kat:Bloody hell!2 Think wot me and V have been through,almost gettin eaten and all!  
  
Sepiroth:Eaten?  
  
Virgo:Yeah Kat almost got us ate by a big fat man with a frilly pink apron on!And a gun 4 an arm!  
  
Kat:IT WASNT INTIRELY MA FAULT!U WERE SEARCHIN 4 A HOST 2!!!  
  
Sepiroth:(Pink apron...)Barrett....(Must b with Cloud)  
  
Kat:U know him?He was nuts!  
  
Virgo:Yeah but not as nuts as that other guy..wot was his name...?Clod?  
  
Sepiroth:CLOUD!!!  
  
Kat:Yep dats him,Bloody nut!  
  
Sepiroth:Virgo,Katania,I want u 2 trail them,dont let them out of ur sight!Especially Clod!  
  
Kat:Cloud  
  
Sepiroth:Wateva!  
  
Kat&Virgo:(Salute)Yessir...!  
  
They fade off....  
  
Sepiroth:Now Ive lost Debbie!MORONS!(Groans)  
  
**************************************************************************** *********************  
  
Kat:Well I never!  
  
Virgo:Well I guess we betta get goin then  
  
Kat:How?  
  
Virgo:Wot u mean how?We gotta go!  
  
Kat:V were a SLUG!WE CANT KEEP UP!!!  
  
Virgo:Ok picky?We'll borrow a wolf 4 a while or sommat...  
  
Slithers slowly along Looking 4 a host,A bird spots them(Happens 2 b a crow again)The crow looks very hungry...  
  
Kat:OR A BIRD!!a BIRD WOULD B GOOD NOW!!!  
  
Virgo:ok,Good point,hold on I got me shoe stuck in the slugs gut...  
  
Kat:VIRGO!(Pulls her,taking control of the body)Switch!(She cries)  
  
The bird is stunned and falls 2 the ground,The slug(Alias V and Kat)Crawls onto its body,the 2 girls hack into the body  
  
Kat:Well @ least we aint da slug no more...That slime was really acky!Virgo...?  
  
Virgo:Yeah high heels and a small space r'nt a good mixture!(Looks unhappy)  
  
Kat:Well betta get goin,gotta lotta work 2 do.  
  
Virgo:(Astounded)OHMIGOD!U r sayin that?!  
  
Kat:Shut up(Mentally sulks)  
  
The bird harbouring the 2 entities flies off towards the smoke of a fire it can see in a clearing...  
  
**************************************************************************** *********************  
  
Cloud:Well I'm goin 2 sleep!(Eyes Barrett)AND DONT EVEN THINK ABOUT COMIN WITHIN A 10 MILE RADIUS OF ME!!!  
  
Tifa:(Sigh)Guess ur the boss(Sulks)  
  
Yuffie:(Yawns)Nite all!  
  
All:Nite  
  
They all settle down and soon drift off...  
  
**But i dont wanna watch them..i'm tired!**  
  
*We gotta else the boss will b even MORE annoyed with us!*  
  
**But it's borin! (Whines)**  
  
A sudden snort in the background  
  
*What was that?*  
  
**I dunno I'm not Psychic...wait a minute yes i am...well i still dunno!**  
  
*Well that's VERY helpful ISNT it? Never mind...seems to have gone..*  
  
Cloud: (Whispers) Yuffie? Tifa? Aeris? No there all asleep....oh my god I'm hearing things again....(Crawls up into a ball) I want my mommy!  
  
**You know maybe this isnt gonna b so borin after all**  
  
*Yeah i could stay up all night listenin to him....HELLO MY LITTLE PRETTY!*  
  
**Ur so cruel..**  
  
*And I love it!*  
  
Cloud:(starts to cry) Sum 1 save me....I'm gonna get a big stick and hit these voices outta my head in a minute (smacks himself on head) OWWWW...FUCK....FUCK...FUCK......  
  
**hahahahahahahaha**  
  
*god he's stupid..hahahahaha*  
  
Cloud: Who are u? Where r u? Why r u pickin on me?  
  
*ummmmm*  
  
**cos it's fun!**  
  
Barrett: (strikes a heroic pose) I'll save u! (walks upto tree and starts shootin) Take that...and that..and that....  
  
Cloud: Ummm...Barrett THAT is a TREEEE! I may be mental but i can recognise a tree when i see one....  
  
Barrett: (sulks) I was only tryin ta help...(cries into apron...the only thing he happens to b wearin...)  
  
Crow passes out off tree...  
  
Cloud isnt seen for the next week because he's lost behind a bush bein violently sick.  
  
Cloud eventually rejoins the group but has aquired a tendenced to stand around with his hands infront of his crotch. High in the sky a black object circles....  
  
*Cant we b sumthing else?*  
  
**Like what?**  
  
*Ummmmm....i would like to b an animal more than 6 inches long 4 once- it's ruinin me shoes!*  
  
**You spot somethin, we go...**  
  
Crow suddenly lost altitude amoungst arguament....  
  
*How about that pretty lion with the big teeth and pretty mane...and...about..ta..eat..us!(flings out arm and cries "Switch")*  
  
Crow callapses.....lion gets up and turns directly around on itself  
  
**Atleast were at the top of the food chain now and arent gonna get eaten**  
  
*Yes but a lion's mind is alot stronger than a crow's- he's scarin me*  
  
**And me..(whines) I miss da crow...**  
  
*were immortal we shouldnt b scared by this stupid thing*  
  
**but i am...**  
  
**************************************************************************** *********************  
  
Cloud seemed to be breathin again, that awful black crow that had been followin and makin him feel itchy was gone...so were the voices. He was ecstatic...  
  
Cloud: Who feels like a burger? I'm willin to spend an ENTIRE 50gil on lunch..  
  
Tifa: U feelin ok?  
  
Aeris & Yuffie: (mumble) Mr. Cheapscate himself..buyin lunch...I'll call the ambulance....  
  
**Lunch did he say LUNCH**  
  
*i know..we havent eaten in 3 days..*  
  
**And this lions gonna eat me too in a minute**  
  
Cloud: OH no! Christ..some one help me...  
  
Barrett: What's wrong..?  
  
Cloud: No u get AWAY from me! I'd rather take my chances with the lion...  
  
Barrett& Tifa: LION?  
  
Aeris: Great now he's seein things too!  
  
Cloud: No i'm not it's....it's..(looks round frantically) it's...somewhere OK?  
  
Tifa: Yes..fine..ok...we.BELIEVE you Cloud..(fingers crossed behind back)  
  
They move off to the restaurant  
  
The lion gets up  
  
*Lets go back into a crow...this is stupid..i cant sleep with all these threats*  
  
**U were asleep...i was on my own...**  
  
*Never mind...too late now...BESIDES, that crow's still followin us so we could go there straight away*  
  
**Brilliant plan, but how exactly do u figure that?**  
  
*Here little crow...nice little crow..* (crow lands)  
  
**I CANT believe it..**  
  
*It's still partly under our control...or it just likes us...*  
  
The Lion pads over to the crow:switch!  
  
Crow flys off  
  
*Well that was simple,2 simple...*  
  
**Dont JINX IT!!!**  
  
**************************************************************************** *********************  
  
Cloud:Look a restaurant!  
  
Tifa:(Stomache growling)Goody!  
  
Aeris:U still gonna pay Cloud?  
  
Cloud:(Pretends voices r back)NOOO!THERE HERE!(2 get out of paying)  
  
Aeris:I guess thats a no then(Sighs)Come on guys  
  
Yuffie:(Sits @ table)Waiter  
  
Man:What can I get u people?  
  
Barrett:5 burgers 2 packets of chips and 2 vanilla shakes please  
  
Man:(Thinking he's ordering 4 every1)Thankyou(Turns 2 go)  
  
Aeris:Hey u aint asked the REST of us yet!  
  
Man:(Goes red,sweat bead hangs on his head)O...k  
  
****After they have all ordered****  
  
Aeris:Yummy  
  
Every1 is tuckin into their meal(Or mealS in Barrett's case)  
  
*Do u reckon we could swoop down and nick a burger?*  
  
**Well I'm gonna bloody well try!**  
  
*Ok on 3*  
  
Cloud:Yum best lookin burger I seen in AGES!  
  
*1*  
  
Cloud lifts burger..  
  
**2**  
  
Puts burger 2 lips...  
  
***Kat&Virgo:3!***  
  
Goes 2 bite into it  
  
Crow Swoops down and clutches burger in claws  
  
Cloud ends up with a mouth full of...FEATHERS?!  
  
**OUCH!**  
  
*BASTARD!*  
  
**He bit our ass!**  
  
Cloud:AAAAAAAAH!BASTARD CROW!(Every1 in restaurant looks @ him)I TOLD U IT WAS AFTER ME!!!!(Gets up and shakes fist @ crow who is happily devouring HIS burger!)I'LL TEACH U!U BASTARD 2 EAT MA BURGER!!!  
  
Barrett:Damn crow!(Lifts gun arm)  
  
ratatatatatatatatatatatatatata!(Shots r fired everywhere,hitting everything:xcept the crow!)  
  
Manager:WAT?!  
  
Barrett:uh...ooops!  
  
Manager:U GONNA PAY 4 DAT!!!!(Falls 2 knees)MA RESTAURANT!!!MA CUSTOMERS!GRRRRR!  
  
Cloud:It wasnt OUR fault it was the CROW!  
  
**Hehehehe**  
  
Manager:I'LL GIVE U CROW!UR GONNA PAY ME!!!  
  
Cloud:But we cant!!!WE AINT GOT THAT MUCH MONEY!  
  
Manager:Well then Im gonna follow u on endless and pointless quests 4 the Black materia until u do!  
  
Cloud:How do u know about Black Materia?  
  
Manager:The narrators told me(Smiles @ Kat&El)Hi!  
  
Narrators,Kat and El:UR NOT SPOSED 2 DO DAT!GET ON WITH THE STORY!!!  
  
Manager:sorry.....  
  
**Amateurs!**  
  
Narrators sit back in their seats:Well get on wid it then!  
  
Aeris:Wot just happened?  
  
Narrators mumbling 2 each other:Shoulda killed Aeris off in the 1st scene!  
  
Tifa:Dont worry bout it dear  
  
Cloud:Ru the voices in ma head?  
  
Managers:NO!  
  
Narrators:OI!UR NOT SUPPOSED 2 REVEAL THAT EITHER!UR RUINING THE STORY!!!  
  
Manager:sorry...again,neway Im Vincent  
  
Cloud:Im Clod...cloud i mean(Y did i say that?)  
  
Crow would have smirked if it had a mouth.  
  
Cloud:Glad thats all sorted now...  
  
Kat&Virgo***So r we dipstick!***  
  
Cloud:NOOO!  
  
*MWAHAHAHAHA!*  
  
Cloud:Stop it!!!CANT TAKE NEMORE!(Punches Air!)  
  
Aeris:O.......k,can we go now?  
  
Every1 nods and starts 2 get up  
  
A man in a black jaket runs in  
  
Jaket geezer:WHICH 1 OF U WAS IT?  
  
Aeris:Was Wot?  
  
Cloud:Go back 2 sleep Aeris  
  
Aeris:ok(Rethinks)HEY!  
  
Geezer:WHO SHOT DOWN MA PLANE?!  
  
All point 2 Barrett  
  
Apart from Aeris who is still workin on the 1st word  
  
Geezer:U?!(Grabs Barrett,by the.....APRON?!Geezer abruptly lets go!)  
  
Barrett:(He enjoyed the contact,even though it was brief)Uh,sorry..  
  
Geezer:SORRY AINT GONNA REPAIR MA PLANE BUD!  
  
Vincent:Ru gonna follow us on stupid pointless quests 4 the black materia?  
  
Geezer:U PEOPLE R NUTS!(Points 2 Vincent)Especially u!  
  
Vincent:Hey I'm not the 1 who's hearin voices in my head!  
  
Cloud:shut up!  
  
Aeris:Huh?(Who hadnt been folowing the conversation @ all!)  
  
Yuffie:Lets b off then  
  
Geezer:By the way I'm Cid  
  
All:Hi Cid  
  
Introductions were xchanged  
  
**Im bored now**  
  
*me 2*  
  
Cloud:IF UR SOOO BORED THEN STOP FOLLOWING ME!U STUPID CROW!  
  
Cid:Errrr....ok...and he's not mad...???  
  
Aeris:huh?  
  
All:SHUT UP!  
  
Tifa: Not CLINICALLY insane QUITE yet....  
  
Cloud: If i get holda you I'm gonna ring your neck and slice u into little pieces and feed u to Aeris tellin her it's chicken..  
  
Aeris: Wha???  
  
**Fat chance o that boy**  
  
Tifa: U know ur right praps we out to sit down for a while...Cloud there's a nice SHADY spot over there..  
  
Cloud: I'm not goin there..the CROW is there..LOOK (points manically)  
  
Tifa: (Takes Cloud by the arm and sits him down) Yes Cloud..there is a crow..a NATURAL creature that DOESNT talk!  
  
Cloud: It does i swear to god!  
  
Tifa: (walks upto crow) Say something crow..  
  
*Kaw?*  
  
Tifa: See!  
  
Cloud: Yeah...but how did it know to divert ur attention with a kaw when u told it to talk?Humm?HUH?  
  
Tifa: Coincidence...  
  
**Haha, not gonna get ME that way!**  
  
Cloud: Shut up u Feathery, tealeaf-readin, shit 4 brains, rat with wings!  
  
*(GASP) Now THAT was NASTY*  
  
**Kaw**  
  
Aeris: You hurt it's feelings now Cloud..  
  
Cloud: U believe me then...doyadoya...you believe me?(Frantically)  
  
Aeris: Bout wot?  
  
*******A large red lion runs into the middle of the path upto them*******  
  
Crow squaks  
  
Kat&Virgo***Not him again! NOOOO***  
  
Cloud: (slaps ear) GET OUTTA MA HEAD! (pulls at other ear and walks around in a circle)  
  
Tifa: Hello Red XIII  
  
Red XIII: Hello Tiiiii...wot the fuck's he doin?  
  
Tifa: Dont worry bout it he'll snap outta it soon and return to his mumblin'  
  
Red XIII: Oh...ummm........that's good?  
  
Cloud: The crow, THE CROW!  
  
Tifa: See i told ya! Where were u anyway? U were supposed 2 meet us 5 days ago..  
  
Red XIII: Ummm......I dunno....I remember walkin...then mumbled arguaments....then i woke up here...  
  
Cloud: Mumbled arguaments....THAT'S IT! THAT'S IT EXACTLY! MY WITNESS PPL!  
  
Red XIII: Wot r u talkin about cloud?(whispers) Who's been slippin things into his drink? Barrett he AINT gonna sleep with u just LEAVE IT!  
  
Tifa: I think Red meant REAL people Cloud...  
  
Cloud: No..it all makes sense now... the arguaments, the lion...they took control of ur body!  
  
Red XIII: (Inches back) ummm...no, i wasnt.....  
  
Tifa: Ur scarin him now Cloud....  
  
Aeris: Wha? (slap) Wha? wha i do?  
  
**************************************************************************** ********************  
  
Sepiroth:(logs off computer and looks into crystal ball which turns misty) What's takin u 2 MORONS so long?  
  
Kat: Thelionbigteeth..gonnaeatmaass  
  
Sepiroth: Translation please?  
  
V: We came across what we thought was a liononlyitwasntitwasRedXIIIandhemetupwiththemandthenfatguytriedtoshootus!  
  
Sepiroth: OK...partly gettin the idea... (Breathes in) IF U 2 DONT GET THE BLACK MATERIA BY 2 HOURS TIME...that's 6pm 4 u morons...THEN IM GONNA SEND U BOTH BACK 2 HELL!  
  
**ok ok get the point**  
  
*ummmm, good for a suntan..*  
  
**ur red enough**  
  
*SHUT UP*  
  
Mist clears and the crystal ball turns back to normal  
  
Sepiroth: I might sell those two to the circus after this......Na, they've done a great job on the sanity front...  
  
**************************************************************************** ********************  
  
We now return to Cloud and his mental likkle bunch o friends.  
  
The gang r sat around a camp fire and Cloud is pacin around the outside of the ring of ppl.  
  
*Yoo hooo Clod...over here...*  
  
Cloud: No, NOOOOO! I'm gonna get u outta my head once and for ALL! (walks over to tree, hit head repeatedly on it..)  
  
Voice from tree: Hey, oi, careful  
  
Cloud: I'm not listening 2 u ur just a voice in ma head... (smack, smack, smack, smack..)  
  
Suddenly a bright big yellow thing floats up into the air...  
  
Bright Yellow Thing: Great now look what u done...I was filled up with Helium this mornin....sum1 help!  
  
Cloud: No, NOOO! I'm seein things now too!  
  
Tifa: No Cloud wait....THAT'S real......  
  
Cloud: A bright yllow floatin cat?- I dont think so....  
  
All: No Cloud it is!  
  
Tifa: Quick catch the balloon's rope before it floats off too far.  
  
Cloud jumps up and grabs it  
  
Cloud: Any1 got one of those plastic thingy's to weight the balloon down?  
  
Barrett: Actually i do...i confused it for a condom....  
  
Cloud: Ummm...yeah...ok.....Tifa? U take that off him.....  
  
Tifa: OK...(takes plasic and attaches it to rope)  
  
Cloud: (suddenly big boss man again) NOW! What were u doin up in that tree?  
  
BYT: Right u see my name's Cait Sith....and I'm a spy and I've been spyin on u for President Rufus....and i was the one that keeps telling them where u are so u nearly die...and now i wanna join ur group ok?  
  
Cloud:we...  
  
Aeris: LET ME HANDLE THIS! Lets c how did that speech go....oh yeah...here it doesnt matter what u did in the past every1 whos willin to fight the good fight is welcome...or summat like that.....  
  
Cloud: Aeris i dont think that's quite such a good idea.....  
  
Aeris: Course it is!  
  
Tifa: Whatever...I'm sure that makes sense sumwhere...Welcome to the group!  
  
Cait Sith: O......k.....ummm...thanx!  
  
**************************************************************************** ********************  
  
1 hour later in the Temple of the Ancients....(why they couldnt have got there 5 days ago when it was that near is a mystery to all...)  
  
*Oh my god...we have 15 minutes to get the Black Materia!*  
  
Cloud:Yes ok i'm movin as fast as i can....  
  
Aeris: Cloud's gettin worse Tifa!  
  
Tifa: I know...just leave it...he's stronger'n us even if he's looney....besides think of the things we could make him do....(Grins evilly and looks at Barrett..)  
  
Aeris: Huh?  
  
**Oh MY GOD....we're gonna die......**  
  
Cloud: shut up, shut up shutupshutup..... (puts head in hands)  
  
*no, not now......we're gonna die....shift ur ass!*  
  
Tifa: Come on Cloud there's not much time...  
  
Cloud: I told u to shut up...oh Sorry Tifa thought u were sumthing else....  
  
Tifa: OK then.....anyway..lets go!  
  
*yeah GO!*  
  
Cloud: OKOKOK....im goin! Leave me alone.....  
  
Tifa walks off  
  
*************They enter a room with several trails********************  
  
Cloud: Ok..lets split up.....Aeris and Tifa ur with me...  
  
Tifa: Dont b mean take Barrett instead..  
  
Cloud: But....  
  
Tifa: No...GO!  
  
Barrett: I'll b nice.  
  
Cloud: Ahhh....(runs down corridor) the rest of u can sort urselves out!  
  
Aeris and Barrett run after Cloud  
  
**I think it's time to exit this birdbrain and use the staff**  
  
*prob right...hide first! LEFT TURN NOW!*  
  
**Wha? That's stairs!**  
  
*Yeah we can hide under 'em*  
  
**but i'll hit ma head**  
  
*THEN DUCK!*  
  
Kat&V:***SWITCH***  
  
Then suddenly 2 ppl appear out of seemingly nowhere..(gettin familiar aint it?)  
  
Virgo:Ouch!  
  
Kat:Shhh!Just do dat mumbo jumbo shit 2 make the staff work!  
  
Virgo:uh..I dunno how it works!  
  
Kat:Give it me!(Struggles 2 grab Staff)  
  
Virgo:NO MINE!  
  
Kat&Virgo:AAAH!(As they get shot by sum magic 4rom the staff,terning them invisable*Just by chance these things happen u know*)  
  
Kat:Where invisable!COOL!  
  
Virgo:If I could c u id hit u!  
  
Kat(Pokes invisable tongue out)NAH!  
  
Virgo:come on lets go,1o minutes!  
  
Kat:SHIT!!!  
  
They both run off after Cloud and co  
  
**************************************************************************** *********************Note 4rom Authors(Kat and El)Due 2 the insanely funny bit about Cloud chasin Sepiroth(Who is @ home drinkin Vodka and Watchin Eastenders!)Which takes up @ least 7 minutes of Kat and Virgo's time,they now only have 3 minutes left!  
  
Kat&Virgo:WAT?!  
  
Narrators:U heard me!Blame Cloud 4 his ramblin!  
  
Kat:Awww man!  
  
Virgo:Shit c'mon!  
  
Cloud walks up 2 the altar the Black materia is placed on  
  
Cloud:Wot I do now?  
  
*GRAB THE MATERIA AND RUN!!!*  
  
Cloud:No chance the walls will close in on me b4 I reach the end!  
  
**Wot about that big hellium spy guy?**  
  
Cloud:Good point!(Doesnt believe he's actually agreein with em!) OH CAIT SITH?  
  
Cait Sith:(appears out of nowhere-again) Yep!  
  
Cloud: Here could you just pick up this pretty black rock 4 us it wont hurt u (mumbles) much....BUT will u give me 5 to just walk slightly outta this whole temple? (nods- adopting an Aeris type attitude..) GOOD LAD!  
  
Cloud grabs Aeris and runs.  
  
Cait Sith: Oh pretty rock....grab!( walls fall in, temple collapses on itself) AHHHHHH (squish!)  
  
***************Outside the temple****************  
  
Cloud: Ahhh, ahhhhh, SUCKER!  
  
Cloud steps into the hole,Kat and virgo smile,now's the time...  
  
Cloud:Materia...(He picks it up)  
  
Virgo:Gimme dat!  
  
Cloud:I cant hear u!lalalala!  
  
Kat:Give it us!!!  
  
Cloud:la de li de dum!  
  
Virgo:GIMME NOW!!!WE HAVE 1 MINUTE!  
  
Cloud:(Louder and coverin ears)LALALALALA!  
  
Kat:(Cries)  
  
Virgo:We promise we'll shut up and leave u alone and never talk 2 u ever,ever again!  
  
Cloud:(Eager,and a little loopy,ok a lot loopy!)HERE TAKE IT!!!(Practically throws it @ them)Plz now leave me alone!  
  
Kat:ok sheesh!  
  
Virgo:Kat we have the Materia!!!  
  
Sepiroth appears  
  
Sepiroth:Well done girls u dont go 2 hell after all!  
  
Both:YAH!  
  
Cloud:(Hugging his knees and rocking back and forth Mumbling about rubber chickens...)  
  
Unbeknowst 2 the girls they then lost their invisability  
  
Tifa:Cloud U werent mad!I can see them 2!  
  
Aeris:Who???Wot???(Gets another slap)  
  
And they all lived happily ever after.....THE END!  
  
We enjoyed writin dis sooo much!!!So what u think peeps?Likin it?if u do EMAIL NOW!LOL  
  
I hope this passes ur approval,if u dont likeit and send us a nasty Email,I'LL SEND SEPIROTH AFTER U!Lol  
  
Ja ne!XxXKat&El(Mistresses of mayhem)If u would Like 2 Email Either of us El's is:SychoEl@aol.com and If u wanna email me:KrazyKat64964293@aol.com 


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